music (and my memories :D )

before we start..i have to say..if you havent heard the songs..i recommend you to listen to them (in youtube for ex.) while reading about them!!!

hey, you know how sometimes you hear a very old song...or not even that old..but you havent listened to it for some time..and when you hear it..ALL THESE MEMORIES come up!!!:) sweeeet... like for example nelly furtado- all good things. i remember sitting in the car, coming back from this island in denmark,, with some awesome ppl from CIMC (the school i went to in denmark)..it was evening,..we had been sitting in the car for some time, out butt's hurt like non other and this song came from the radio..i LOVED IT...so i remember during these 2 more hours we had to sit in the car the song played in the radio so many times..and every times i was so thrilled and i loved it.. thats the first sime i heard it..but now, every time i listen to it, i remember denmark and spring. man i miss it. i remember my walks, alone, with my thoughts. they were awesome. not just thoughts..usually i went out to pray after church. the sun was still out, it was nice and warm yet quite cold breeze...but it was 100% SPRING!!! in denamrk! oh my..:D i miss it like crazy but hey, new memories will come..and new songs will come what will be stuck in your head for a long time and youll hate it and youll start hating the song but after some time...and when youll hear it again...all you'll remember is that time you went through during the time the song was like sosooosososo popular:D

ok ill randomly pick a song from my playlist, lets see what will i remember:P

Stained- Epiphany:D hahahah..yes, very depressing song. and i remember i mostly listened to it when i was in my teenage years and i was going through the phase- i likes a boy, he didnt like me. :D...well it wasnt funny that time. then i had to listen to the saddest music, that inspired poetry in me;:D..and of course what i was sad about aswell:D...so much for that

the next song please

Fantasia Barrino-When i see you. this is quite a new song for me. i mean not really cos i have listened to it hundreds of times. when i was young..what we used to do was to burn a tape (cassett) with only one song and listen to it over and over again...now what we do it to press on repeat :D...life is soooo easy. anyway, so about the song.. now that i remember of couse i have memories with this song..they aren't just that old..they go back to the last summer:) :P and well a person is involved , of course,,and a special setting...just some romance :)

JEM- come on closer. not a proper song to listen to in a bibleschool's girls bathroom:P on a GRADUATION DAY, preparing for grad. :P.. but its dang sexy:D so yeah what i remember is 1. dying Amy's hair,listening to this song, in the grls b-room...and 2. graduation day, getting ready for the grad. make-up, hair, sexy dress, high heels, bodylotion with glitter all this and so much more. i love that song.

DMX- party up in here ohhh how it reminds me of my hip-hop class practice that i went to in 11th grade in highschool. that what we listened to almost every time we started with the class and you know...moved to get our muscles warm for dancing...

Just Jack.- Stars in their eyes. maybe its not proper, but i have to mention this song. this song reminds me of Paul Mellers---100% :D it was his myspace profile song. at first when i listened to it (not the full song..just the beginning), i didnt really like it..when i went and looked up their home-page andlistened to their CD there, my brother heard it and he wanted their CD. we boughti it the next day, now its with me in tartu (where i live), in my appartment :D...i also heard it in fashion tv. it was a background song for a fashion show or red-carpet thing.:D i love it..makes me feel like a super-star (naah not really) but Paul is built to be a superstar:D with his attitude and way of life and you know, all that :) so here, i dedicate it to him, tho he'll never read it, doesnt matter:D

Cascada- everytime we touch AND Paris Hilton- stars are blind. Summer, 2006, USA in Roxie's car (my cousin), wherever we went. for sure, all the way. good memories! this is dedicated for Roxie! (ill make sure she'll read it ;) )
with the second song, to be specific, i remember coming back from Seattle, from the youth meeting we had been to and it was dark already , Seattle was in its highlight with all its lights turned on etc. and absolutely every hot summer day, wherever we drove:) she just sang out loud and was happy about it :D.. ahh i miss it :D

Rihanna- Umbrella, Pussycat dolls etc...they remind me of the times im in 'the mood'. as in wanna wear high heels, dress up, full make-up and feel just so dang good about myself:) the song makes me happy and just sexy :D..(not listening to the words :D )...but im pretty sure the best memories are yet to come.

Lupe Fiasco- Superstar. GYM!!! hahahahha,,,training, dancing, GYM, Sweat, ohhhh yeah. all the sweaty guys around me, working out, smelling so bad that it takes my breath :D:D...and im not exadurating. but i love this song. not the smelly guys tho.

Ida Corr- Let me think about it. my university's faculty's x-mas party. it failed hardcore... we left the barty sooooon...and headed out clubbing. soo thats the songthat reminds me of Kaia and Kristel and me,,,in a club, all dressed up (we were all in sexy black dresses, high heels, makeup, hair, dang sexy) and danced like crazy with girls staring at us, jealous and guys staring at us, ... :D never mind that. we welt good and we were there for eachother, to enjoy the company of eachother and to enjoy the pleasure that dancing gives:) (we left soon cos an accident happened with Kaia's dress :S)

Wyclef Jean's album Preacher's Son. first photoshooting of me :) good days

and well my entire list of worship songs are the ones i fall asleep to and wake up to..cos thats what i wanna start my day with and finish my day with- with God!!


;)
pretty cool, eh :D

et te kuulutaksite Tema aulisi tegusid...

oeh..ja jällegi ma õppisin ja mõistsin täna midagi. oma selle olukorra kohta.

pühapäeval, risttee koguduses..anti kodutöö, lugeda piiblit ja tõmmata joon alla sellele, mis südamesse tuleb (mingi kirjakoht) (anti ka pastakas kaasa). mina sain- 1 Pe. 1:7- et teie usk, kui see on läbi katsutud, leitaks olevat kallihinnalisem kullast, mis kaob ja siiski tules läbi katsutakse , ja oleks teile kiituseks ja hiilguseks ja auks Jeesuse Kristuse ilmumiseni .

märksõnad (minu olukorra kohta)-> tules läbi katsutakse!!
-> oleks kiituseks, hiilguseks ja auks.

why didnt i think about it myself *littlebit sarcastic*..aga päriselt. it feels like fire..
kiituseks, hiilguseks ja auks..oleks vaid.

Grief

intro.
im not desperate and im not living through a depression. just..lately..ive felt kinda ..like..that..(dont know how to put it)..just that there are so many thoughts..so much to think about. so im kinda not feeling like writing into my diary so im writing here..tho its a bit stupid cos its so public. whatever. im writing. read it or not

5 steps of grief/grieving
1. denial
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. anger (again)
5. acceptance

i dont know why..(well i must have some kind of an idea), but i think im grieving. over what? thats too personal and non of your business (no, noone has died)..but something has happened...anyway..i just wish id have the new class already - grief and death. i could use some question-attacking. well not really..im pass this Ukrainian-attitude girl..but i do have questions and a lot of things im wondering about.

ps. grief is not circling around death..not only. there are a lot of ways and reasons for grieving.