As soon as the prayer meeting started i knew THAT WAS IT. That's the church iv'e been looking for and praying for for almost 7 years and the last 1,5 year (b4 i went there) especially. I couldn't believe that a church like that REALLY existed.
Right then God started working with me
1. He freed me from something i had been fighting with for SO long (trying to beak free..but i just couldn't). So after 7,5 years of trying to set myself free and couldn't of course...God did it!
2. He dug deep into my soul and taught me the true A B C about myself. Many of you know i had to throw my shoes away..
God told me that He hasn't created me with shoes, make-up not jewelry so non of it should effect the way i see myself. In my case it had the BIGGEST effect on me. So that had to be cut through just like that.
Following that ... i went through a mourning period. Yes i mourned like somebody had died. But somebody did- i died. the old me. My dreams crashed, my identity, who i thought i was and what i thought i wanted and everything else...it crashed..so i had to start building it up again..and man it was hard.
3. A very dear person to me left. We lived together for a year..but things changed and there were a lot of stuff going on that we couldn't handle...so she decided to move out and live separately (which was ok with me of course)...but what really followed that event...was "hell" to me. I won't describe it..it doesn't really matter anymore...but the point is all through the summer every minute of every day seemed to never end and seemed to get just harder and harder and more painful than i could handle.
I couldn't read bible, i couldn't pray..all i tried to do was to BREATHE.
So after knowing her for almost 8 years..she was gone just like that. and i was alone just like that. and went through the mourning, alone, just like that.
That tough me that whatever it is...however close the person is next to you.. GOD is the one you ought to trust to the end and lean on to the end and count on..to the end...cos He is the ONLY ONE...who has guaranteed you He will NEVER end and He is the only one who can keep the promise 100% (and He does)!!!
4. The fourth thing i won't describe..but what i learned is that only in God's grace you are safe!
if you even try to step out of it cos you are dieing to see what's out there and test your territory, you will get burned. So keep yourself safe, in God's hands.
So may people do the New Year's resolutions..i never do them. i used to..and i never went through with then cos they were always about losing weight :D i gave up :P
But still .. it think it's really good to have some vision what you are shooting for.. cos then you can keep track with what has changed in your life, what God has done in you..and what is yet to come..
- It is going to be a break-through year in education, finances, relationships and of course..SPIRITUALLY!! I am shooting for the realms where i have never been before (in every mentioned area) and only God can imagine what's that like :P.. cos He will take me there ;)
- I'm gonna work on myself. Trying to become better person than i have been ever before. I'm gonna try to be there for others and show them the love and mercy God has shown me every time i have fallen and how He has then lifted me back up
- I'm gonna try and encourage people to never quit and fight and have hope. To always put their eyes on God and always hope for something BIG to happen and then give God room to surprise them with even bigger things ;)
So share with me your resolutions..if you made them. :))
HAPPY NEW YEAR and may it be the bestest year with breakthroughs and special moments that take your breath away ;)
