Mida me, NAISED võime meestelt õppida & vica versa !!

Sissejuhatus on kasutaja poolt kustutatud ... :P

Mõned päevad tagasi sain ma jälle natuke targemaks ning nüüd tahan teiega oma tarkust jagada! Nimelt olukord oli selline, et ma polnud enam kaua aega tunda saanud meeste ja naiste erinevust (justnimelt selles, kuidas nad mõtlevad), kuid siis kerkis olukord, kus see tõusis jälle esile ning mugav see just ei olnud. Hea on muidugi aru saada ja märgata neid kohti, kus meie (meeste ja naiste mõtteviisid) lähvad lahku, kuid väga oluline on ka sellele siis reageerida, et arusaamatused ei jääks õhku. Võibolla on minu puhul tegemist ka suures osas temperamendiga ning emotsioonidega, mis löövad välja ning eristavad mind keskmisest Eestlasest, kuid siiski on üldjuhul naine tunduvalt emotsionaalsem kui mees. See aga pole tingimata halb- peab osakama seda ainult oma kasuks tööle panna ning kasutada seda positiivselt ära..ja muidugi emotsioone tuleb kontrollida!

1. Esimene asi mis ma eelmine nädal õppisin on see, et naised reageerivad minevikule teisiti kui mehed.
Mehed: Midagi juhtub, mehed töötavad vb selle kallal ning saavad sellest üle, panevad ukse kinni..ja LIIGUVAD EDASI,..uks on endiselt suletud! Mis pannakse kinni, see jääb kinni!!! - Suurepärane!!! sest siis ei ripu minevik pidevalt kukil
Naised: Midagi juhtub, naised analüüsivad ja analüüsivad ja mõtlevad..lõpuks kui saavad sellest üle, siis lähvad uksest läbi, vb isegi panevad ukse kinni aga nad jäävad alati teadma ja mäletama et see uks on seal! Mõnikord (raskematel päevadel v aegadel elus) lähvad nad selle ukse juurde (mälestustes) tagasi, mõtlevad mis sel ukse taga oli, kuidas kõik toimus, kuidas nad sellest üle said, mis emotsioone see neis tekitas jne.. See uks jääb alati sinna ja nad jäävad alati teadma, et see uks on seal!!!! Ja isegi kui nad ei mõjuta nende igapäeva elu ja tegemisi ja mõtlenist, siis sellegipoolest on see uks seal!

Nüüd, vb see ei käi nii iga naisega, kuid ma julgen avata, et suurem osa naisi on lihtsalt sedasi seadistatud!
See ei ole koht kus hukka mõista või öelda, et me lõpetaks meenutamast neid aegu (eriti kui need teevad haiget).. nagu ma ütlesi ka see et need asjad võisid neg. olla ei tähenda et need praegu mõjutavad meid..me lihtsalt vahel lähme mõtetes tagasi sinna ukse taha ja see võib endiselt valu teha..ehkki oleme eluga juba edasi liikunud.
Niisiis, see on koht kus teil, meestel, on võimalus olla KANNATLIK ja toetav! Iga naine vajab hellust - kasuta seda imevahendit!!

2. Naised, ärge kandke igat neg. emotsiooni kaasas. Jah võibolla tõesti sa käisid hommikul poes selle eesmärgiga et piima osta ja viimane piim võeti su nina alt ära ning kõik teised poed on veel kinni...aga kui sa koju tagasi lähed, siis ära ole nagu eluohtlik viirus, kes sisse astudes nakatab kõiki oma ärritusega (juba sedasi, et räägid sellest)..Nagu mina seda kipun tegema. Nagu pühap kirikus toodi näite- kui sa tuled töölt koju, paned sa oma kodu sussid jalga ja jätad teised jalanõud ukse juurde..sa ei käi välisjalanõudega toas ringi. Kandes selle võrdpildi üle teemasse, millest ma räägin- tehke sama! Kui miski on teid ärritanud, ärge viige see koju kaasa rääkides igast viimsest kui detailist (mis juhtus) oma mehele v perele..ja seega nakatades ka neid. sa võid sama hästi koju tulla, öelda rõõmsa näoga, et piim tuleb tunni pärast, kohvi kannatab oodata küll..ja ongi kõik!!

Samas siin ka väike nõuanne meestele - Kui te näete et teie sõber, õde/vend, tüdruk, abikaasa jne on mingi neg. sündmuse haardes, viige teema kõrvale (sõbralikult) või jällegist, ..olge hellad! Mõned kallid ja paid muudavad ka kõige vihmasema päeva päikselisemaks! Kui naine näeb sinu reaktsioonist, et pole hullu midagi, rahuneb ta ka ise maha ja üldjuhul päris kiiresti! :) (ja siinkohal väike julgustus meestele - kui naine on tänulik eriti kui ta saab aru et mees on olnud temaga väga kannatlik, annab ta sellest sulle igal viisil teada ja tasub sulle kuhjaga!!!)

3. Ka neg. olukordi/südmusi saab pos. võtta! See on minu jaoks täiesti uus avastus! Jah, ümber harjumine on küll tohutult raske ja võtab palju kannatlikkust ja eneseületamist, kuid naised, see on seda väärt!

Kui peaks tulema neg uudis, või midagi peaks juhtuma, mille peale muidu käiksin nagu must masendus ringi, kõik on vihmane ja hall, miski ei valmista enam rõõmu, kõik on ühtäkki kole ja paha (no kõik see on üle paisutatud aga.. you get the point..), siis ON VÕIMALIK ka selle kõige juures rõõmsaks jääda! Selline käitumine ja otsus ei pruugi aga üldse loomulikult tulla (paljudele naistele), vaid seda peab alguses mehhaaniselt sundima endast esile. Ja vb alguses ei lähegi kõik nii hästi ja edukalt kui lootsid, aga naine, ole järjekindel!!
Leia olukorrast pos aspekte ning keskendu neile! Tee, mis sulle meeldib- täida ennast! ning noh minu puhul, kuna olen kristlane, on mulle suurimaks abiks ja täitvaks teguriks osadus Jumalaga!!! Kergem on elada, kui võtad asju kergemalt ja pos.!

Samas siinkohal nõuanne meestele: ehkki naine võib tunduda super tugev ning näib, et tuleb rasketes olukordades hästi toime ja hoiab naeratust näol, siis sellegipoolest on tihtipeale see tohutu eneseületus ning meeletult raske! Nii et ärge arvakegi, et võite olukorda kuidagi pikendada või millekiga viivitada, kui teil on oma osa mängida! Kui teil ei ole osa mängida, olge toeks! Naine vajab lähedust, hoolitsust, tuge, kindlust jne. Kui te ei oska aidata, küsige! Kui teile öeldakse, et ei saa kuidagi aidata, siis küsige õelt, sõbrannalt, emalt, mis rõõmustaks naist ning olge nii rõõmuks ja toeks! - Mul tuleb mu väike vend selle viimase soovitusega meelde, kes kord küpsetas kodus koogi ja siis läks ja sõi selle oma sõbrannaga ära, sest sõbrannal oli raske aeg! Iga naine ütleks selle peale AWWWW :D...ükskõik kui cheesy see võib meestele tunduda!.. ka kõige pisemad asjad, mis tulevad südamest, on erilised!!

4. Mehed ja naised on erinevad. Ainuke viis kuidas nendest erinevustest teada saada ning need lahendada on nendest RÄÄKIDA! Ja rääkides ei saa kummalgil poolel olla suhtumine, et teine pool teeb midagi niii valesti või paneb nii mööda. Kui sa arvad teadvat paremat või lihtsamat viisi, kuidas olukorraga toime tulla, siis räägi sellest ja jaga oma arvamust ning jõudke koos lahenduseni! Teise süüdistamine või maha tegemine (isegi kui see on tahtmatult) ei vii mujale kui läbikukkumisse! Ning taaskord, KANNATLIKKUST, mõlemalt poolt!!!


Lõpusõnad:

Paljudele meestele meeldivad temperamentsed ja särtsakad ja emotsionaalsed naised!! Ja ehkki see on põnev, kui ilutulestik on pidevalt kõrval, siis selle positiivse poole kõrval on ka neg külg. Ehk siis kui naine on särtsakas ja emotsionaalne, siis halvas tujus või raskes olukorras on ta ka selle võrra eksta vürtsikas!! JUSTNIMELT! Ja ära püüagi teda muutma hakata!

Siinjuures naised, kes te (me) olete vürtsikad, õppige end kontrollima!!! Kui teie päev on paha ja hall, ei anna see teile õigust sellest kõigile märku anda ja kõiki nakatada. Kontrollige oma emotsioone ja kuidas te reageerite asjadele! Uuesti- õppige end kontrollima ja ennast vailitsema! Te muudate mehe elu väljakannatamatuks kui teie emotsioonid kontrollivad teid, mitte vastupidi!



Niisiis, minu eelmise nädala õppetund!
Kui vaidlete vastu või soovite midagi lisada, LISAGE KOMMENTAAR!!!

Seniks, ..järgmise korrani!
Ms.Han

Changed my name!!

Well actually i didn't change MY name, i'm still Hanna aka Han .. and i will NEVER change my name cos..well it might sound very sassy but i think it's the prettiest girls name (that i know of) and i'm even thinking ab naming my daughter the same...well maybe spell it different (like HannaH :D) then it won't be that weird...*thinking*..nah it will be who whatever, i love it!
Anyhow,..but i changed my blogs name. WHY? you might ask.. well first of all cos i can and cos i have a plan of doing a small business and Ms.Han will be my signature name so therefore i though it's good to change this blogs name as well.
I was thinking of Ms. Han's mõttemaailm..but well Ms. Han is in English so if the second part was going to be in Estonian..it wouldn't have looked nice. And changing Ms. Han...just won't work! So that's that -- Ms. Han's wonderland -- (my 1st option was Ms'Han's memorandum but that was too cheesy) it imparts the message ("my" way of thinking).. If you have a better word for memorandum, comment ab. it below! Remember, i can still change it! :B

Puhtuse kinnituseks halastuseta läbikatsumine

Psalm 26:1-8

Mõista mulle kohut, Issand,
sest ma olen elanud laitmatuses
ja olen lootnud Issanda peale
ilma kõikumata!
²Katsu mind läbi, Issand,
ja proovi mind,
sulata mu neerud ja mu süda!
³Sest sinu heldus on mu silma ees
ja ma käin sinu tões.
⁴Ma ei ole istunud koos
valelike inimestega
ega lähe kaasa salalikega.
⁵Ma vihkan kurjade kogu
ega istu õelate kilda.
⁶Ma pesen oma käsi süütuses
ja käin sinu altari ümber, Issand,
⁷et kuuldavale tuua tänu
ja jutustada kõiki su imeasju.
⁸Issand, ma armastan
su koja asukohta
ja su auhiilguse asupaika!

See kirjakoht räägib minu jaoks midagi hämmastavat; mõtlesin oma mõtteid jagada.

Just hiljaaegu kuulsin kedagi ütlevat, et esimene kord räägib (korrigeerib) Jumal läbi Oma sõna, teine kord läbi sinu elu - ehk siis, kui Ta räägib (läbi Oma sõna) ja sa ei kuula, laseb Ta sul selle läbi elada ning seeläbi õppida - su oma valik!!!!!
Ma arvan, et on vähe neid, kes tulevad Jumala ette ja ütlevad et "Jumal mõista mu üle rangelt kohut ja korrigeeri mind halastuseta, et ma võiksin Sind paremini teenida", nagu Rick Joyner seda palvetas (raamatust "Põrgu väed on rünnakul"). Ma tegin seda ise päris pikka aega (ikka aastaid) ning ütlen ausalt, Jumal tuli ja korrigeeris ka ja need ajad on mu elu ühed raskemad kuid muutusterohkemad ajad. Enam ma seda palvet nii naljalt ei palveta. Mõte jääb mu palvetes alati samas - ma tahan pidevalt muutuda ja saada rohkem Kristuse sarnaseks ning rohkem ja paremini Kristust teenida, kuid nagu Jeremija kirjutas (10:24) Karista mind, Jehoova, aga õiglaselt, mitte oma vihas, et Sa mind ei hävitaks! Ma olen päris kindel, et ka Jeremija oli kogenud Jumala ranget kohtumõistmist ja halastuseta korrigeerimist!

Hoolimata kõigest, on meie eesmärk, nüüd rohkem kui iial varem, täie pühendumisega joosta edasi ja edasi ja mitte sammugi tagasi. Vanad asjad ei tohi jääda meile komistuskiviks ette. Kui sul on olnud minevikus kogemusi Jumalaga, kus sa ei ole saanud vastuseid, mis on su usku nõrgestanud, siis ka see ei tohi saada takistuseks, sest pea ühte asja meeles..asi ei olnud Jumalas (ps. mine loe ka minu viimast blogi, käsitlesin seal seda teemat). Jesaja ütleb, et (43:18-19) Ärge tuletage meelde endisi asju ja ärge pange tähele, mis muiste on sündinud! Vaata, Mina teen hoopis uut; see juba tärkab, kas te ei märka? Ma teen kõrbegi tee, tühjale maale jõed! Niisiis edasi minnes ainult muutudes ja puhastudes, sest et nüüd rohkem kui varem, järjest enam tõusevad esile tõelised jüngrid ja need kelle südamed on tõeliselt klammerdunud Jumala külge ning kelle ainus ja siiras eesmärk on elada Temale!

Seda (esimest) kirjakohta aga vaadates hämmastab mind millise kindlameelsusega Taavet pöördub Jumala poole ja nagu esitab Jumalale väljakutse, et "testi mind, ma olen elanud puhtana ja Sinu sõna kohaselt", "katsu mind läbi, sest ma tean et ma ei ole teinud kompromisse" jne..
Tegelikult ongi ju nii, et kui sul ei ole midagi Jumala eest peita või varjata (üleastumist, pattu jne), siis pole ka miskit mis takistaks sind kindlameelselt Jumala ette astumast! Ja sellepärast Taavel oli samuti nii kindel neid sõnu rääkides. Vaadates Taaveti elu, oli see lause uskumatu --
ok enamus meist teavad Taavetit kui Psalmide kirjutaja, karjane, poeet, hiiglase-tapja, kuningas, Jeesuse esivanem.. ja ma ei taha küll seda pilti teile nüüd ära rikkuda, aga selle kõrval oli ta ka reetur, valetaja, abielurikkuja ja mõrvar.. sellisel juhul tekib küsimus MIKS mäletatakse Taavetit kui Iisraeli suurimat kuningat, temale osutatakse kui Jeesuse esivanemale, ta on üks usukangelastest (Hb 11), kuid kõige enam, teda kirjeldab Jumal ise kui "mees Minu südame järgi". MIKS SEE ON NII? .. sest et Taaveti patukahetsus oli siiras, põhjalik ja lõplik!!

Ma küll ei ole abielurikkuja ja ma ei ole kedagi tapnud, aga ma tean üht..patt on patt ja iga patukahetsus peab olema siiras, põhjalik ja lõplik! ning iga patt peab saama kahetsetud, et see saaks eemaldatud! Ja ma tean seda et holimata mineviku kogemustest..inimestega või Jumalaga, kui mu patukahetsus on siiras, siis Kristuse veri on ka katnud ja pesnud mu patu ning ma võin tulla sama kindlalt ja sama julgelt Jumala ette ja öelda, testi mind!, katsu mind läbi!, kui Taavet seda tegi!


/Ms.Han

..What happened ?

Im sure we've all had the situations where we take a word from God, believe it, live it, breathe it, declare it etc...so we know it to be true, we know it will happen, we don't question or doubt it... that's kinda the bases for it to happen..and it WON'T. So the next question is why not?, what happened?
>> Mark this..i'm talking about if you KNOW it's God's will and it's God's will for you and you've tested it and got a confirmation etc. so...we're not talking ab the situations here where YOU think it's God's will but really, it isn't << Just recently i had the same situation. There's something i held on to and honestly really truly believed it was gonna happen...but it didn't. So at first i didn't think about it cos i was afraid i was gonna get upset w/ God and then i understood God can handle me...and i opened up and shared my thoughts w/ God and asked Him ab His..

1. Did u get it right? Often christians think they get God's word but not really getting it at all. Like God has gazillion different sides.. as in if He says smth, He says the truth but He might not mean it the way you do.. the question is if i get it the right way or i get the main idea but won't specify the details.
Ex: i got my thesis D. I prayed for, expected and was sure i was gonna get an A. my first question to God was..WHY??--You promised me an A (and i gave my maximum).. Then one day i was talking to my friend and said that yes even tho i got my thesis a D i've got SO MUCH out of it-- without it i couldn't do the work that i'm doing not and help prostitutes and HT victims. So then my friend said..well if you gave your best, you got the maximum out of it and it's the basis to your work now...then it's basically written for an A.. even tho uni didn't grade it so.. (im not sure if i conveyed the thought)..

2. Obedient or not? THe big question is ..are you obedient to God. God sees the big picture, right?..so if there are changes to be made, He'll direct you to doing them. Now if you think you know better and won't do it..it might just happen that you won't get your thing. If there are other people involved w/ the thing you are expecting or waiting from God..you gotta understand they have a role to play aswell. Especially if the thing is between 2 people. YOU might be obedient to God..but the other person might not be, which can delay what you are waiting for.

3. Testing and being tested?! With holding on to God's word and expecting what you're expecting..you are kinda testing God. But in a good way! You believe and know that He will do what He has promised. As we know, God wants THE BEST for us. So what if things aren't going as YOU planned, does it affect your faith or the way you see, look at God? Things might go the way you don't want them to go .. cos God is testing you! How strong you are? How faithful you are? What's really inside you etc.
Ex: I said to my friend.. even if things are not gonna go as i wish they'd go or as i hope they'll go it won't affect my rel. w/ God cos i still want Him and still wanna live for Him and serve Him etc...so i'm just gonna continue w/ my life..and definitely w/ GOD!
So things didn't go as i expected them to go..but i told it to God already few times and i'll say it again..I TRUST GOD! He sees the bigger picture and He controls everything..and HE wants the best for me-- that's kinda all i need to know!

4. Gave up? Devil's main purpose is to steal, kill and destroy! So if you give up believing (even for a shot time) or start doubting or chicken out, it can hinder what God is planning for you. Stand firm and hold on to what God has told you!

5. Prayed recently? If God has told you ab His plans or smth, remember you have a job to do aswell. Well yes, you have to be obedient and do what God tells you to do .. but you have to pray ab it too. You gotta fight for what you want and for what God want's for you. No good thing is for free and the bigger the victory, the bigger the price aswell. So maybe you've heard the saying: You can see how much a man wants something by how much he's willing to fight for it. And my dad has always said: If you want something you'll find a way to get it! So..have you, did you pray about it??????? Pray! FIGHT for it! It's totally worth it.. Go beyond the lines to get it (even fast if you feels it's a good thing to do).


These are my thoughts. Hopefully it helped some of you!
If you have any questions or any comments, leave them below!


Ms.Han

An update: University, Thesis, 4am, Summer, lovely Cafe Musi, SunRise, Random, walk in the Old Town, Movies & Price of PErsia

OEH..long time no hear (from me) , i know. I blame it on thesis!-- but im done with that!! 1 more school paper and im done with university (for this year). Next year ill graduate Master's degree. If you're wondering how's that possible (Master's degree takes 2 years in Estonia)..well i won't explain it but most of you know the story.

Anyway i've been up today since 4am. and i think i should mention i went to sleep at 1.30-2am. And at ab 4 i just popped my eyes open and thought it was morning..but still felt a bit tired so i closed them again , slept for another 30 min thinking ohh i've slept in now..and then stood up, went straight to kitchen cos i was super hungry and was scared almost to death when i saw the time- 4.30am (not kidding). I dont know what it is. or WHY im up.

So i thought i'd take the chance to write. i should start doing vlogs (video blogs), ahh it'd take so much less time ( i think). Anyhow..

Much has happened, like i said. The biggest thing is university. Man i need to get the final grade out (in Psychopharmacology) and then the graduation is OFFICIAL!! Till then it's a lot of stressing and praying..A LOT OF IT.. But GOd has done so big miracles already concerning uni and graduation and i've had so many problems and God has just FIXED them! so i have a feeling everything is going to be ok ;)

THe summer is going to be..mhh..interesting. My closer friends know already something that God told me ab mi life for this summer. and well i'm looking forward to seeing it happen..:P
..but yeah lot's of weddings to attend (i LOVE weddings)..including my brother's, DANIEL's wedding!!! The most special wedding! ahh but that means i need new dresses .. so if you know a place in Estonia where i can find very nice dresses, let me know (on the comment section).

THen, i need to tell you ab this loveeeely cafe in Tallinn, called Musi ( a Kiss). THey have a website aswell, go check out www.musi.ee. It is a LOVELY place!! The prices are quite expensive..even for vanalinn (old town), but yeah very cozy! and their bathroom is the bestest!

Ahh i can see the sun rising as i speak. Im just laying here in my bed, listening to Diana Krall- If i had you and i'm watching the sun rise, litterally! What a view and in Lasnamägi aswell hehe ;)

So this has been a very random blog :) But even tho i dont feel that tired or sleepy, my brain is not really working :) and considering the fact i slept like 2 hours tonight, i'm not very sure if ill be in a condition to think the entire day!!

I had a lovely time in the Old Town yesterday with my friends! It was super nice, yes! I love Tallinn's old town!

ANd we went to see THe PRince of PErsia yesterday..i liked that one too. SOme parts were very overdone, but overall i liked it!! It's weird but i'm not into chick-flicks anymore, at all.. i mean i've never really been that much into them but especially lately..i just couldn't care less!

Ok i'm done here :) Leave me a comment with whatever is on your mind! THe same i did

mwahh,
Ms. Han

I have a friend...

I realized today that: I have friends who have seen the WORST side of me.. and still love me (Kirsika Maamägi, Alicia Candelora, Cat Mayhew); i have a friend who can always make me laugh (Andreas Kotsjuba); i have a friend with whom i can talk to about God for 3 days and nights without feeling tired (Ketelin Jõhvik); i have a friend who makes me feel beautiful; i have a friend who has an amazing heart (Joel Kotsjuba); i have friends whom i can talk to ab politics over a cup of coffee and not feel bored :D (Liisi Kosk & Kerstin Oppe); i have a friend who appreciates coffee as much as i do..or even more ;) (Siiri Pajupuu); i have a friend whom i can't wait to see soon and go spend some good time with (Anna Andersen); i have a friend who's not afraid to tell me the truth (Daniel Kotsjuba); i have a friend whom i miss a LOT (Viktoria Titova), i have a Friend, who DIED for me, cos He loves me (Jesus Christ) !!!! Wow, im blessed!!

POEM: It was just the start

Im standing next to you wondering what color are your eyes and won't dare to look
i'm wondering if that's how it's always gonna be or is it just the beginning?

You are cold but i think i'm even colder and i won't tell
I'm just wondering if one day you'll hold me instead of buttoning your coat

i know we love coffee but i'm quite sure my coffee tastes better tonight
and i'm wondering is it because i can see you or is it your voice that makes me smile?

The stars look brighter tonight than ever and i'm happy
and i'm just wondering if it has anything to do with you watching them with me?

And you look more beautiful this evening than i can recall
and i wonder if it has anything to do with me?

And i wonder some more, wondering if that's how it's gonna be or is the day close when
i can think back and smile saying it was just the start?!





Ps. It's just a poem. I don't even know if it's any good,,i've just been in the mood of writing and drawing :) so here's another one for you!

Enjoy!
and leave a comment! ;)

POEM: Protected in a War

I'm not a big poem writer (i used to be tho), but a moment inspired me and i just wrote my thoughts down.

Watch my back while i'm going to a war
Stay with me while i'm taking control
Be my armor and let me rest
Help me let go of everything that's a mess.

Watch my back while i'm entering a war
Whisper to my ear that you'll never let go
Calm my anxiousness with your peace
Hold me till' i fall asleep

Watch my back while i'm in a war
Be my strength and protect me from the rest
Shout my name when you lose sight of me
Whisper it, when i'm in your dreams

The war is an everyday battle with life
Thoughts suffocate me and troubles burden my chest
I need you to be here to watch my back
So i can lay down and catch my breath

The poem was inspired by the moment. I'm just laying here and thinking ab. my life, my friends, subjects that have hold of my heart and matters that have my full attention and i just asked the question..How much longer will i have to watch my back?

I solute single mom's who have to manage in life, i honor wives who have escaped their abusive husbands and have kids, i thank God for every girl who has been able to escape from prostitution or everybody else who have had a life full of troubles, hard times and unfearness and they have fought their way through and you haven't let go! i know how incredibly hard it is to keep on pushing when you have to do million other things at the same time..and when there is noone protecting your back. And all that inspired me to write the poem. So it's for all the superwomen out there who have been fighting alone so far and now wanna be protected in a war!


With you, thinking of you, praying for you,
Ms. Han

By being good you become a bad person ?!

Have you ever felt that by you standing up for yourself you become the bad person?

God has been teaching me a lot about who i am, what i'm worth, what i deserve etc. It's always good to be reminded of that from the REAL and true source especially when there has never been anyone to teach you that in the first place - a lot can get messed up! So lately i've been watching extra carefully how people act with me. Not to judge or condemn them but to train myself on noticing which treatment is right and which is wrong..what i should accept and what i shouldn't.

The second thing i've had to learn is how to respond to bad treatment?! I'm a person who doesn't like to argue, fight etc. I like to discuss on different subjects and matters just cos i like to hear ppl's different opinions..but when it comes to fighting or being mean or angry or even worse - have revenge on someone - that i do not accept! So therefore i've somehow over the years let people treat me badly. From one side i don't - i confront them right away or just stand up for myself, from the other hand people that are close to me and who i care about, i rather let them hurt me than hurting them (when the situation takes the course). And that's one of the things i've had to change. It is not ok to be treated badly especially by the ones who are close and dear to you!

So lately this one situation happened where i stood up for myself and didn't say anything specific to the person but stood strong and kept my distance. To my surprise the person noticed right away something was wrong. At first they tried to get my attention back but then they distanced themselves aswell letting me know now I did something wrong.

I've been thinking and wondering for the past few days if i should talk to them, if i should apologize, if i should act as 'it's all good'..or should i continue standing strong and letting them know - it is NOT ok, i deserve better !?!
And of course i prayed about it and figured it out! - One thing is 1. to act mean and all bitchy, another thing is 2. to stand my ground and not let myself be treated badly. I understood i chose the 2nd option and it was right thing to do. If the person will keep on distancing themselves from me, it's their own loss and a thing to learn from in the future!

NOTE: Always remember what you deserve!
If you do not know what you deserve,.. well that's a place to start from and learn. go to the real source (God) and learn from Him (from His word - The Bible)

We are gathered here in rememberance of our greatly missed...

For the past few days the sun has been out! And i have to honestly say the past few days ive been SO happy and joyful..and ive had inspiration and motivation to write my thesis and do stuff..be productive..so this morning i woke up and it was all weird. i wasnt in a happy mood..and i didnt understan why. so after showering i rolled up my blind and guess what.. it was snorning (snowing+raining). there was no sign of sun..only the same old clouds. And that explained my 'down' mood. I woke up at 8.30 so i could study (write my thesis) the whole day..i havent done anything and its 2.15pm already. i feel stupid and like im wasking my time..what am i saying ..i AM wasting my time.

Ok i sound like a 6 year old who is whining..but i doubt anybody reads this anyway :D so it's fine..ill whine however much i want..(ok now i sound like a 5..or even 4 y.o.)

My friend just wrote:

At one point you say: "Wow, it's snowing! I love it, it's so beautiful!" And several months later when I say I like snow you hypocrates give me the look that could kill. Yes, you!

And i answered:

well..i like snow and i like winter and this winter has been SUPEr nice and SUPER LONG! but you see the thing is i can't stand another day without sunlight. It's depressing and there is no motivation to do anything + there is that wish to walk on the street without taking 2 steps backwards and 1 forward. i want to see green and i wanna hear birds sing and FLOWERS..it just makes me happy! i want SPRING already..followed by SUMMER and a lot a lot of sun! There should be 3 months or each season. there has been over 4 months of winter already. Who knows when this snow will melt completely and the grass will come out. and then..when will summer arrive and of course there is this wish to see more sun in the summer than clouds -- that before the sun gets to come out and the air gets to warmen up..its fall already and rain and clouds again. BLAH..


It's not that people are hypocrates..it's that people get TIRED of it. Did you know that there was a research done that Estonians need only 15min of sun EVERY DAY..and they'd be happy and joyful and wouldn't be #1 on every BAD list there can be..i mean this makes sence. i am a living proof. The past few days have been amazing and i have a feeling SUN had a lot to do with it...and now today that there is no sun..look at me. im a mess.
i know im a big girl and i need to control myself better but hey if there's sun for 3 days after 3 months of no sun..i have to say i'll get used to it from the first day and it's hard to adjust to clouds and dampness again. i hope you understand. if not you gotta move to Esto to understand..if you live in estonia..it has to be all the vacation you can afford..if you can't afford a vacation ..leave me a comment and tell me what you do to keep yourself HAPPY in daily basis. Yes i pray and read bible aswell and i have a solid rel. with God but i need my D-Vitamine. God created me that way!!!!

Putting my Faith into practice!

I'll describe you one of the situation i'm in right now..

Many of you who are in touch with me more often know that i couldn't officially graduate my Bachelor's degree last year. I won't start telling you about the problems that came up WHY i couldn't protect my thesis..but that's not the point.
So i started informally with my Master's degree.

So now, this spring i'm planning to graduate ( i am GOING TO graduate).. but the thing is that i don't have an instructor.. you know.. who would guide me thro my writing blablabla..anyway you need one..and i don't have one. Firstly cos i have to get one from inside my faculty which is SMALL (for goodness sake) and there only 2 people who are competent to instruct me (cos my theme of research is SO specific that so FEW are adequate in that subject (human trafficking and prostitution) )..anyway..and neither or the 2 people are emn..how to put it now..i can't ask neither of them to instruct me..cos one of them was my instructor last year and well..yeah that didn't go well ( i mean im not say it was entirely her fault i couln't graduate..but anyway)..and the 2nd option..well..if you knew the whole story you'd understand..the 2nd one is not really an option. ..

SO..the picture is starting to get a bit clearer, yes?!.. i need an instructor and there isn't anyone.. at least not that i know of right now or that im bold enought to ask from (like i could ask from the Ministry of Social Affairs the woman who is the specialist in Gender Equality..but emn..well..i don't wanna die just yet (yes that was heavily exagerated)..i have some level of discretion in me to KNOW that i just can't ask her knowing she holds the responsibility before the State in the field of HT and prostitution (and everything to do with it-- researches, developments, legislation etc etc etc) in Estonia)

Anyway..(sorry, im SO tired to write right now..).. but there is a BUT..
my BUT is that God told me something different. He told me that He will give me all the knowledge that i need (Jk 1:5), He promised me He'll help me (Ps 55:17) and i will not be in shame but i will get it done!! (Ps 25, 119:31)
+ He promised me personally we'll get it done..

SO..you see the reality..and what the situation is..and you see the other aspect of His promises to me.. i have a CHOICE to believe in the reality and focus on that..or focus on God's promises to me and just obey Him in everything He tells me to do on the go..

You wanna bet i'll get it (my thesis) done with or without the instructor? just remember, i have God on my side!
It's time to put the faith into practice (meaning that i won't believe all the signs that reality is giving me of how impossible the situation is..OR ill believe the word that God has given me even tho the reality says everything opposite). Yes, i choose to believe God.. and stay tuned to hear how it goes. i Bed it will be some crazy cool way how God will bring me an instructor or i'll do it by myself..i don't care HOW i just know it will happen and ill get an A for my thesis!

Well here's a testimony ;)

ps. prayers are ALWAYS welcome..and actually im asking you to please keep me in your prayers ..to assure that ill stay confident in the Lord and in my faith and also that everything would go according to His plan, and that I'd hear and do everything He asks me to (concerning the thesis i mean)..and of course..the INSTRUCTOR..and whatever else God puts in you heart


This is awesome..yet another miracle is on it's way :)) Oh God is SO good!

Good night and stay in Faith, Hope and Love!
MsHan

A bad joke

So im sure we all have made a bad joke..or just a joke that's NOT funny..
.. i know it's so embarrassing ..
But so recently i hung out with my friends and one of them asked me to tell him an anecdote. Well surprisingly i knew one. It's not an anecdote but just like a "joke" i was told recently. So here it goes:

What's the difference between a scout and a jew?
..
A scout comes back from a camp, a jew doen't.

i know, it's NOT funny. i mean it kinda is in some weird way but i as a christian don't find it so funny. and actually i even peeved (pahandasin) with the person that told me the joke and said it's not funny actually..some weird black-humor. ..and then i go telling the joke myself cos i mean...if the challange is in the air already (that have to tell a joke) how can i not know one.. anyway and then after telling the joke i go like..ha-ha-ha it's quite funny actually (i was VERY tired that day..a 3rd day without sleep)..not thinking it's funny at all..and nobody laughed really. F-A-I-L.

So yeah if you've made a bad joke just know im right there with you :D and all you can really do is hope you'll get another chance to make a joke (to the same ppl) and hope you'll make a GOOD ONE then :D


If you know any good jokes let me know (comment) and hopefully next time ill make everybody laugh with a very original joke :D

Yet another one :))

I know, i know..i've started blogging!!! hehe
It's just that..so much is happening in my life and inside me that i wanna share it just cos it might help or encourage someone who is reading this (IF there is anyone :D ) and if not..it's goot to get it out myself cos then it can be seen in a new perspective and in another light, which is always a good thing

So yesterday evening and today (so far) have been emotional. Ok don't get a wrong image of me - i'm not VERY emotional usually..i mean..im not up and down, up and down, ...even tho it might seem so (cos in every new post i'm in different mood :D)..but actually in my heart im stable cos i trust God and my faith and hope is in Him..but He is doing something in me (not exctly sure what exactly it is but i know it has smth to do with how i see myself and how God sees me) and it's just natural (i like to think so) that when there's a deep-cleaning going on or a surgery, you react to different things different ways. Like when there's a lot of dust, it's just natural to sneeze or if there's a surgery going on it HURTS but it doen't mean one is on the edge of giving up even thinking that..so the same w/ me..even tho i might be in different moods different days etc, im stable :D (that sounded so funny) and it is VERy important to be able to control yourself no matter in what mood your are in. but im sure you know it already
also my mood-swings might be the result of my reading. You see im writing my thesis on human traficking and prostitution and even tho i HAVE to take a break after every ab 15/20 min still it's hard to read ab violence and rape and torture and humiliation all thro the day but at the same time i gotta say it's amazing how God has given me strenght to study it and do the reasearch

anyway, to the point now..

this morning i put on practice what my pastor preached ab on sunday and some stuff he taught us..
so as i opened my bible and read it.. i also noticed one other scripture:

Malachi 2:17
You have wearied the LORD with your words.
"Wearied him?" you ask. "How have we wearied him?"
You have wearied him by suggesting that the LORD favors evildoers since he does not punish them. You have wearied him by asking, "Where is the God of justice?"

I think this scripture is amazing. it's like BAAAAM...For all the ppl who sin and think oh whatever God will forgive me the scripture says that you weary Lord!! and for those who think God lets evil things happen and is not justice, the scripture says the same thing! YOU WEARY LORD WITH THIS TALK. and thinking. Are you serious??!?!?!? BAH

And then i started thinking - If i think God does not want the BEST for me, i also weary God cos after what He did for me (Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else? - [Rm8:32]) and i STILL think He does not want the BESTEST of the best for me..man that's just STUPID of me..
at the same time i know God is patient and He approaches everyone individually..so make sure you work on yourself and let GOD work on you..and all the rest will fall into place :) Yeb, God is THAT good and great! You just have to give Him the space to move!

Hope this encouraged you or helped you ..

Obedience

Ok i dont have much time..but i feel such joy and happiness in my hears right now that its flowing over and i need to share this with you..

This is my 3rd sleepless night and im in cold Tartu..and im about to go to work where i have to be very active etc..and even tho i dont have so many prerequisites for that (the sleepless nights etc) but i am so joyful..
so i started thinking why is that..i mean not that i mind :D but you still wanna know the source of goodness, dont cha?! well anyway i do..and so i started thinking ab it and i understood my happiness and joyfulness is the result of my obedience to God.
well what i mean is that recently God told me to do something .. and it took a lot of "flesh killing" to do it..but i decided i WANNA be obedient..so i was and i did it..and after that the doors have opened..in EVERY aspect in my life..everything that used to come kinda slow and hard these things just flow now - thats the consequence of obedience! ;)

* today i woke up my throat hurt really bad and i coughed hard..and i decided i wont accept it .. and i decided during this day (today) ill get well..but well..its 10am right now and im well already :D
* finantially doors have opened..
* education wise god has blessed me with knowledge and STABILITY to study and read&write my thesis..thats a BIG thing i must say
* + there have been these weird troubles and misunderstandings etc that have taken so much energy and that have just troubled me..well NO MORE i say..and yes there have been no more of those and you know how they got solved..i obeyed God..in small things.. like this university bill..i had to write to uni concerning my semester bill..but i didnt wanna deal with it..so i just pushed it to the future and ignored it .. but then God told me Hanna, WRITE THEM!!!! cos it will get messy otherwise! so i did and it already had got a bit messy..but God handled the whole thing during one day basically and in conclusion i saved like 10 000 eek (1000$)

and well there's a lot more that has happened.. but yeah.. just wanted to share the PRACTICAL things and EXAMPLES of what can and will happen if ur just obedient to God .. it's AMAZING!

Be HAPPY and JOYFUL today..and if ur not, ask God to help you with it!


Leave a comment and tell me what happened to you by just being obedient to God!


With the best wishes,
Ms.Han

Out of my hands..and into His! VOL 2

VOL 2 - God's grace is sufficient for you [Sulle PIISAB Jumala armust]

So today i woke up with my bible next to me and as i layed my eyes on it a scripture came up:
2 Corinthians 12:9

(NKJV) And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

(The Msg) And then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.

(Eesti keeles: Aga Ta ütles mulle: "Sulle saab küllalt minu armust; sest vägi saab nõtruses täie võimuse!" Niisiis ma siis tahan meelsamini kiidelda oma nõtrustest, et Kristuse vägi asuks elama minusse.)


Yes i think it's a well-knows scripture for every christian..but i kinda saw it in a new light..as in..it complimented the last scripture i got and (i wrote ab it here in my last blog post) spoke strongly into my situation..

This line - "My grace is sufficient (enough) for you" is SO powerful and strong, isn't it?! It's like..in the last blog i wrote based on the scripture (Jer 17:7-8) if you trust God AND have your confidence in Him, then you don't worry and you have no fears about whatever situation you have..
well..this scripture goes under the same category (about trusting God in whatever situation you are in)..my story is that..

Yesterday i had a really bad day. it started bad and it was bad all through the day..until i went to bed and even then i had negative thoughts..and even tho i tried to fight them..they carried through to my dreams..but anyway then in the morning when i opened my eyes i saw this scripture..and all of yesterday's 'badness' got beaten. Like, everything that upset me yesterday and got me so sad and brought all kinds of devil's lies in my head..that scripture did 1-0 to all of it.
It's kinda like He said: "Hanna forget about all of it (that happened yesterday and all of your worries)..I mean I can beat it in a snap of a finger..you just trust ME and let Me handle it, whatever you are dealing with!" and then as it continues He says: My strength is made perfect in weakness! I mean..like WHAT? :D Is there anything more joyful to know that whatever i can't handle, He can and He WILL! and He wants to! and when you feel that ok this is it..you are done, you can't take it anymore, you can't handle it anymore..ENOUGH!!!!!!--that's when God goes like heck ye..FINALLY I can take the whole situation completely over :))
i mean you have to constantly, every day give Him the freedom to move in and through you..that's the WHOLE POINT of our existence :) but i mean it's amazing to think that when you feel that you have no control over the situation..He is IN MOVE!

Examples, where "His strength is made perfect in my weakness".
Ex 1: I talked to our family friends today and they said that their contract with their apartment owner will end this month and they have no idea where they're gonna live. This is where ...
Ex 2: I have to write my thesis and every day i have this stage in a day where i feel that im toooooo stupid to wrote it and write it VERY WELL. That's where..
Ex 3: I need supporters to continue working at the family center where i am right now. and I've been looking for ones for almost a year now and there hasn't been any real success with it. and i NEED money to live and pay my bills etc.. but it LOOKS (not that it matters, how it looks) "hopeless". That's where...
Ex 4: I think the biggest thing is our future. At least with my future. I mean i've always know ahead what my future will bring..i mean i've always had a really strong vision for my life and i know what God has in store for me .. but SO OFTEN it feels too big..so big that i think that how in the world and i ever gonna make it happen ..cos i dont wanna fail God..
Well thats the biggest thing and bigges way for me how God lets me know that Hanna..in YOUR WEAKNESS MY STRENGHT IS MADE PERFECT!!


Hope this helped you and i expressed my thoughts and what's in my heart clear enough!

Always put your hope in the Lord and remember, He hasn't given us permission to give up! Cos' He has ensured us everything to finish the run. It's US who have to take hold of it now and put it in action and give Him the freedom to move in and thorugh our lives! That's how we'll finish the run!

Be strong and always have your eyes on Him!

Love,
Ms Han.

Out of my hands..and into His!

If you're Estonian speaking and you wonder why in the world am i blogging in english.. then no, it's not cos i'm so fancy-pantsy and im showing off..it's cos i know very many of my blog readers are english-speaking and frankly am too lazy to write the same post in Estonian and English! So forgive me if you feel betrayed or something smth..

I've been thinking and trying to write a new post for quite some time now cos so much has happened and so many thoughts are on my mind..but every time i start i finish just as fast..so i guessed there's just nothing that much to share..or if there is..it's not that important..

But then yesterday evening i read bible and this scripture came up..and just to mention..i've been searching God in some specific things for quite some time now..so that scripture spoke to me exactly in the aspect i've been searching God for..so the scripture is
Jeremiah 17:7-8
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

[Eesti keeles: Õnnistatud on mees, kes loodab Jehoova peale, kelle lootus on Jehoova! Tema on otsekui vee äärde istutatud puu, mis ajab oma juuri oja kaldal, ega karda, kui palavus tuleb, vaid ta lehed on haljad; ja põua-aastal ta ei muretse ega lakka vilja kandmast]

Something that i did not pay attention to before (reading the scripture) was that there's a difference in trusting God and having your confidence in Him!! Like i can trust God 100% in some aspects and want His will all the way but still try to control the situation or make something happen..you , yourself, through something you do.. but if you add 'Have your confidence in Him'..it means not only that you trust God and trust Him to guide you..but you also let go of whatever you are trying to handle and control yourself! ..and boy that's hard. Letting go is hard. Cos if you let go, if it's totally, absolutely out of your hands it means you don't do absolutely anything to control the situation, to make it happen..but you trust God alll the way and trust Him that IF it is His will..HE (and HE HIMSELF) will make it happen! It means giving God the permission to be in control.

..and if you read on in verse 8, it says..those people (who have done the step 1 and 2), they don't have any fear nor any worries!! So here's how you can test whether you trust God in your own specific matter AND if you have your confidence in Him..is whether you have any fears or worries concerning the matter. Well that's how i came to the conclusion i didn't have my confidence in Him (is that i had fears and worries)..so now..i don't anymore :)) .. and it even says that even tho it might get really really hard it does not fear "when the heat comes"..that it's leaves stay green--meaning like..you won't get all sad and depressed and miserable and all that..IT DOESN'T EFFECT YOU cos your confidence is fully in Him which means you're like a tree in the desert but that's roots are in the water..like who wouldn't like that :D

..and also one final thing concerning the scripture..look at the 2nd part of the final sentence-- never fails to bear fruit. Have you notices that if there's something bothering you or there's something big on your mind (big as in..not "what food am i gonna make today; what should i wear today etc") it can take your attention off everything or everybody else you are surrounded by..and even to the extent where you can't pray, can't worship..or you just won't..you are constantly thinking about THAT THING..well it's a big red light saying STOP NOW and do the step 1 and 2!!
..So if you will..you will never fail to bear fruit and thats just AWESOME! Just imagine you being in a deser ..lets say inthe middle of the summer in a desert (let's take it to the extreme :D )..and YOU will be the one having it's roots in the water and baring fruit! man, GOD IS AMAZING! :)

So i really hope it helped you..cos for me it changed everything!

and remember..
Out of your hands..and into His!!

Be bold to leave comments!!!

2009 vs 2010

I was just thinking today how much my life has changed with the past 1,5 years. why i say 1,5 years and not 1 year (at it is more custom to)..is cos that's when i started going to the new church i have been going to (it's in another town called Paide).
As soon as the prayer meeting started i knew THAT WAS IT. That's the church iv'e been looking for and praying for for almost 7 years and the last 1,5 year (b4 i went there) especially. I couldn't believe that a church like that REALLY existed.
Right then God started working with me
1. He freed me from something i had been fighting with for SO long (trying to beak free..but i just couldn't). So after 7,5 years of trying to set myself free and couldn't of course...God did it!
2. He dug deep into my soul and taught me the true A B C about myself. Many of you know i had to throw my shoes away..
God told me that He hasn't created me with shoes, make-up not jewelry so non of it should effect the way i see myself. In my case it had the BIGGEST effect on me. So that had to be cut through just like that.
Following that ... i went through a mourning period. Yes i mourned like somebody had died. But somebody did- i died. the old me. My dreams crashed, my identity, who i thought i was and what i thought i wanted and everything else...it crashed..so i had to start building it up again..and man it was hard.
3. A very dear person to me left. We lived together for a year..but things changed and there were a lot of stuff going on that we couldn't handle...so she decided to move out and live separately (which was ok with me of course)...but what really followed that event...was "hell" to me. I won't describe it..it doesn't really matter anymore...but the point is all through the summer every minute of every day seemed to never end and seemed to get just harder and harder and more painful than i could handle.
I couldn't read bible, i couldn't pray..all i tried to do was to BREATHE.
So after knowing her for almost 8 years..she was gone just like that. and i was alone just like that. and went through the mourning, alone, just like that.
That tough me that whatever it is...however close the person is next to you.. GOD is the one you ought to trust to the end and lean on to the end and count on..to the end...cos He is the ONLY ONE...who has guaranteed you He will NEVER end and He is the only one who can keep the promise 100% (and He does)!!!
4. The fourth thing i won't describe..but what i learned is that only in God's grace you are safe!
if you even try to step out of it cos you are dieing to see what's out there and test your territory, you will get burned. So keep yourself safe, in God's hands.


So may people do the New Year's resolutions..i never do them. i used to..and i never went through with then cos they were always about losing weight :D i gave up :P
But still .. it think it's really good to have some vision what you are shooting for.. cos then you can keep track with what has changed in your life, what God has done in you..and what is yet to come..

• It is going to be a break-through year in education, finances, relationships and of course..SPIRITUALLY!! I am shooting for the realms where i have never been before (in every mentioned area) and only God can imagine what's that like :P.. cos He will take me there ;)
  
• I'm gonna work on myself. Trying to become better person than i have been ever before. I'm gonna try to be there for others and show them the love and mercy God has shown me every time i have fallen and how He has then lifted me back up
• I'm gonna try and encourage people to never quit and fight and have hope. To always put their eyes on God and always hope for something BIG to happen and then give God room to surprise them with even bigger things ;)

(and now im gonna try and remember all that :P hehe ) (just joking..im gonna pray ab it and then let God do the work in me :) )

So share with me your resolutions..if you made them. :))

HAPPY NEW YEAR and may it be the bestest year with breakthroughs and special moments that take your breath away ;)

2010 is yours to do

This year is fresh and clean, and it doesn't matter what's been done in the past...this is like getting a brand new canvas to paint on...
whatever hurts and frustrations...were in the past year...leave them there..and start new...with boldness, happiness and lots of hope! This could be the year that:
your dreams start to come true, you find your true love, your happiness returns, you become the best you that you've always wanted...

dream big and hope even bigger...this is the year to be the changes that you want....become the person you want to show the world...love bold and brave...and do things that scare you...you'll be glad you did...talk to the people that make you nervous, say the things that you usually keep trapped inside....love more people than you did last year....and give more compliments away...let's spread more love this year everywhere we go...and in return we will feel more loved!!!!

/Kandee Johnson